This post will be a bit of a cathartic exercise on my part. Greatly appreciate you hanging in there as I share some of this, but it aligns with this latest topic, and seems on point more and more these days. Perhaps it’s me, and my expectations are too high, but I find myself dealing with fewer and fewer people who at that moment are truly “On The Ball” and this blog post theme is a big underlying reason why.
While we have already addressed the art of listening, and the importance of that in understanding problems, curiosity, and learning, by comparison our ability to communicate, and manage expectations, seems to have become more challenging than ever. However, with countless resources available that can help with the mechanical aspects of communication, we’ll focus on the fundamental philosophy that many seem to have lost which is the ability to simply say what they mean, mean what they say, and not be mean when they say it.
So, let’s break that down into its components:
Say what you mean
Let’s face it, we live in a fast-paced world, our attention spans are short, and are usually dealing with multiple things at once. When someone is sharing information with you, whether verbally or written, it is most helpful to simply have it be clear and to the point. If you are delivering the message, you obviously want to be sure that it is understood by your audience, and that there is no confusion in what you are trying to convey. This can be particularly important in problem solving when details, or sequence of events, matter in pursuing a solution.
Mean what you say
Trust. It requires a lifetime to maintain, and a moment to break. You can have the clearest communication in the world, but if you don’t back up your actions, and stand by what you have just shared with others, then they are otherwise just empty words. If you are vague in your messaging, and don’t exactly “say what you mean”, then you leave the message to interpretation, perhaps some assumptions, and then expectations can take on a variety of understandings. You then run the risk of not meaning what you say, because you didn’t say what you meant in the first place.
If you start to develop a reputation of not being trustworthy because you don’t “mean what you say,” then your overall credibility begins to erode, relationships begin to deteriorate, and a willingness to work together may be less desirable.
Don’t be mean when you say it
Email. Text messaging. Social media. Zoom sessions. All of these wonderful tools that allow us to stay connected at a distance and whether by choice or not, remove the need to interact with one another face to face. Whether we realize it or not, these tools have allowed many to become champions at passive aggressive behavior, and communicate with others in ways that they never would if they were exchanging ideas in person. And we’ve headed down a path where we’ve come to expect it as acceptable behavior. While you might clearly communicate in this approach, it too erodes trust and integrity, making it more challenging for groups to collaborate in working through issues and finding resolution to problems in an efficient manner.
When you say nothing
As bad, if not worse, than vague communications, is no response at all. Perhaps you don’t want to deliver the bad news, or think someone will be angry with what you have to share with them. Avoiding communications altogether also leads to assumptions, interpretation, and likely erodes trust as well. Nothing is gained by staying silent, and if anything, even if unwelcomed news, sharing it is better to help address a given problem, review options, and determine a new path forward.
Connection to the Other Traits
Now that we’ve outlined the importance of saying what you mean, let’s review how that intersects some of the other On The Ball traits:
Integrity
There’s a reason why we referred to Integrity as the Foundational Trait. If you don’t hold yourself accountable, are not viewed by others as a reliable resource, nor act in an ethical manner, then it’s likely that “say what you mean, and mean what you say” goes out the window. Others will never trust what you have to offer, and even if you have a great technical skill set in your industry, it won’t matter. People will not consider you On The Ball, and success will be short lived.
However, if you have Integrity, then as long as your communications are clear and accurate, it’s likely you can be counted on to stand by your word.
Curiosity
In a similar fashion, when trying to address curiosity, learning from others requires clarity in the information shared. Sometimes, people are more visual in nature, and understand things through videos or pictures is better than the written word. That can certainly help remove ambiguity from an explanation or description, in the spirit of “a picture is worth a thousand words,” especially if the concept is complex, and the nuances and details are challenging to articulate with words alone.
Problem Solving and Collaboration
In our earlier “Right Diagnosis” blog post, the key theme was that “the first step in solving any problem is recognizing the correct problem.” Inherent in that recognition is the ability to clearly communicate the nature of a challenge or issue, and the possible root causes, with others.
Then, we discussed how “Two Heads Are Better Than One” in approaching a problem and coming up with solutions. But if we’re not clear in stating what the problem is, or constraints in how we can solve it, then we will end up being way off the mark with effective solutions. Additionally, if in that collaborative approach, our team members let us down by not “meaning what they say”, then the second head becomes rather worthless, no matter how smart or talented they may be. Expectations matter, just as much as the solution to the problem itself.
A Critical On The Ball Building Block
Some people will scoff at all of this, lump this into “soft skills” that don’t matter when you are hiring for a key position on your team, and only focus on their technical skills, certifications, or college degrees. But experience will tell you that none of that matters if a resource cannot clearly communicate, and more importantly, be relied upon to deliver on what they commit to. As a project manager with decades of experience, and knowing how rapidly technology changes, I’d rather have an incredibly reliable resource, who communicates very well, and is highly ambitious and eager to learn. If that person has a solid technology foundation, they should be able to pick up new skills as the technology changes, but can be counted on to keep me informed, and get tasks completed as expected. If they can’t complete an assignment, I expect them to tell me what has to change in order to deliver (more time, change in scope, etc.) but at least have that open dialogue, and not ignore the situation. That is an On The Ball team member that I can count on day in and day out.
This is an area we all need to work on every day, myself included. The expectations in our lives change constantly, and it’s up to anyone who considers themselves On The Ball to clearly communicate to those that may be impacted, and can adjust accordingly. So, make a pledge today, to say what you mean, mean what you say, and not be mean when you say it. Your ability to stay On The Ball will be greatly enhanced.
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